gamemasters

10. This is your captain speaking and I don't feel that life is worth living anymore.
9. We're cruising at an altitude of... ah, hell, I don't know.
8. Could somebody come up here and tell me what this button does?
7. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Just kidding.
6. Would a flight attendant bring me a martini? And keep 'em coming!
5. This is...uh...this is...uh...your...hmm. I seem to have lost my memory.
4. Passengers on the left side of the plane -- does that engine sound funny to you?
3. Welcome aboard flight 109 -- you bunch of jerks!
2. Good God, Steve! We're going to crash! Oops -- is this intercom on?
1. We'll be on the ground in 10 minutes. One way or another.

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow that when she smiled at a NASCAR race, all the drivers stopped because they thought it was a caution sign.

 

 

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you're first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy''s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy''s father said, "I'm actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"